By: Rashmi Negi A person in a healthy relationship trusts their partner the most and feels secure in their presence. However, this can easily change when things fall between the cracks that result in misunderstandings, disagreements, arguments, and other issues in a relationship. There are ways to mend and work toward a healthy relationship, but when there are red flags, it is precisely the time to think about it all over again. Spousal Abuse or Domestic Violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, and financial. It can be harmful when the partner uses hurtful words or behavior to control their spouse....
Giving Tuesday
By: Lauren Jacques And Eileen Shea What is Giving Tuesday? Since 2012, Giving Tuesday has been a global event to “encourage people to do good.” The event organizers encourage generosity every Tuesday, but the official celebration will be on November 30th this year. Giving Tuesday started in New York City, and according to the Giving Tuesday website, “Whether it’s making someone smile, helping a neighbor or stranger out, showing up for an issue or people we care about, or giving some of what we have to those who need our help, every act of generosity counts, and everyone has something to...
How To Be There For Someone
By: Whitney Derman Being truly there for someone is not a one-size-fits-all package. It can take very different approaches depending on who needs you and the situation. When consoling someone, it is best to use the 90% rule, meaning you listen 90% of the time and talk maybe 10% of the time (Brown, 2020). This allows the other person to feel like what they say matters and express their thoughts on the situation without being interrupted or bombarded with questions or advice (Brown, 2020). More often than not, if a friend comes to you about a difficult situation, they simply want someone to...
Prison Abuse
By: Rashmi Negi Prison Abuse refers to abuse suffered by a person who is incarcerated or under arrest. It can include Physical, Sexual, or Psychological Abuse, among others. In some cases, medical treatment may be denied, which could be considered neglect. The idea of confinement can affect mental health, and if followed by abuse, it can be traumatizing for life. Sometimes an incarcerated person is abused for years, affecting their psychological and physical health during the confinement period. The prison environment fosters constant violence and includes inmates being bullied, tortured, or forced to have physical fights and even sexual conduct...
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
By: Mandie Schreck October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which has been nationally recognized since 1989. This form of abuse affects over ten million individuals per year in the United States. It has been reported that one in four women and one in nine men have been affected by Domestic Abuse sometime in their life (Huecker, King, Jordan, & Smock, 2021). So how can we help those in need and raise awareness this month and every day? Contact your State/Local Coalition You can search your Local Coalition to help ensure perpetrators are brought to justice and help local legislation enforce protection...
Never Excuse A Red Flag: A Lesson With Post-It Notes
By: N.M. Bialko I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist. Our relationship consisted of lies. There were lies about his past, lies to set up new lies, lies about other people, and lies about himself. He told lies where there was no need to lie and even opportunities where no normal human would even think to lie. Some of what I had learned made me physically sick, and even though he should be the one filled with shame (and likely isn’t), I was the one left feeling foolish because I knew all along he was a “liar...
Stop Asian Hate
By: Rashmi Negi Hate crimes against the Asian American community are not new, but the COVID-19 pandemic escalated growing tensions, further triggering hate. It can be easy to want to blame someone for everything that has happened since 2020, but that blame cannot be placed entirely on one person or group of people. Such terms as “Kung Flu and Chinese Flu” direct blame for the pandemic onto any person of perceived Asian descent. There was a sharp rise in harassment and violent cases against Asians after widespread misinformation and other stereotypes. One cannot deny the systemic racism that could also...
Signs Of Spousal Abuse
By: Rashmi Negi Spousal Abuse is also known as Domestic Violence and is perpetrated by one of the partners in an intimate relationship. It can consist of Physical, Sexual, Emotional, and/or Financial Abuse. Spousal Abuse is harmful as the abuser uses hurtful words or behaviors to control their spouse. Look Out for These SignsIf you know someone and are unsure if they are the victim of Domestic Violence, here are some signs to help you identify Spousal Abuse. The Individual:1. Cannot or refuses to explain any marks, scars, or bruises on their body2. Avoids family, friends, and acquaintances3. Is not...
Share Your Story
By: Nicole Bialko As team members and subscribers of Abuse Refuge Org (ARO), we understand the importance of educating and protecting others from abuse. We know that abuse takes on many forms and is an isolating and often shameful experience. We have found ways to rise above the pain and move forward and are committed to helping others through ARO. Each of us has a story. Our stories can help others. My story: I was in a toxic relationship with a love bombing narcissist (likely a sociopath). I had re-entered the dating world a bit naive following my divorce and...
Shifts In Cultural Attitudes Towards Domestic Violence Through The Last Century
By: Whitney Derman Although it’s been a century since the women’s suffrage movement gave women the privilege to vote in the USA, it was not until the 1970s that women’s rights activists made some headway with combating domestic violence. In the 1960s, literature on Spousal Abuse towards women was virtually non-existent. The only sources that talked about it blamed the wives for provoking their husbands or mental illness. It was agreed at the time that Domestic Abuse was rare, but when it did happen, it was the woman’s fault (Library of Science and Medicine, 2015). Unfortunately, Domestic Violence and Abuse...