Abuse Categories

Psychological abuse (can be emotional or financial) refers to the occurrence of words and non-physical actions used to control, manipulate, hurt, or instill fear in a person. This abuse usually involves a consistent pattern of abusive and bullying behavior that affects the self-esteem and mental state of the person who is experiencing this type of abuse. It is committed by abusers to tear down and control the other person’s self esteem and well-being- leading to skewed perceptions of self and life.  Psychological abuse can often go unnoticed and often requires outside counsel to identify. Since this type of abuse targets a woman’s/man’s feelings, psyche, sense of well-being, perceptions, and thoughts it is often left unseen to outside people. Psychological abuse can occur in any relationship dynamic (romantic, family, friends, workplace). 

Psychological abuse often is a continuous cycle as the victim becomes afraid to leave their abuser and begins to doubt their self worth (if they aren’t good enough for their abuser, they aren’t good enough for anyone). This cycle is meant to isolate, discredit, and silence the victim. Psychological abuse will become worse over time and becomes a repeatable cycle until action is taken. 

If you believe you are experiencing psychological abuse, reflect on how your interactions are with those people in your life. Do they make you feel confused, misunderstood, anxious, depressed, wounded, worthless, silenced, etc.,?

Any type of abuse that a narcissist inflicts on another person is considered to be narcissistic abuse. A narcissist is someone who has been diagnosed to have Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD),a mental disorder characterized by a life-long pattern of exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a diminished ability to empathize with others’ feelings (source: Wikipedia). Some significant characteristics of Narcissistic Abuse include behaviors like Gaslighting, Manipulation, Lying, Emotional Blackmail, Negative Contrasting, Privacy Invasion, Violence etc. Victims of Narcissistic Abuse can end up with low self-esteem, low self-confidence, self-doubt, second-guessing themselves, isolating themselves from others. If one finds themselves helpless and hopeless in such a relationship it might be beneficial to reach out for help from a support group or therapist.

Elder abuse is intentional act, or failure to take appropriate action, occurring within any relationship where there is an expectation of trust, which causes harm or distress to an older person. An older adult is someone age 60 or older.This type of violence constitutes a violation of human rights and includes physical, sexual, psychological and emotional abuse; financial and material abuse; abandonment; neglect; and serious loss of dignity and respect.

WHO Key Facts 

• During the past year 1 in 6 people over 60 years, have experienced some form of abuse in community settings
• Institutions such as nursing homes and long-term care facilities, the  rates of elder abuse are high in with 2 in 3 staff reporting that they have committed abuse in the past year
• During the COVID-19 pandemic, the rates of elderly abuse have increased
• Long term psychological consequences  and physical injuries are caused by elderly abuse
• There is predictions of increase in elder abuse in  many countries as result of rapidly aging populations
• The global population will more than double from  900 million in 2015 to about 2 billion in 2050, of people aged 60 and older.

Sexual (Emotional, Psychological, Physical and Financial) Abuse occurs when any sexual contact or behavior that occurs without a person’s consent is considered Sexual Abuse. Those victims of Sexual Abuse can range in any age, gender, socio-economic class or sexuality. It is important to know that Sexual Abuse has other names to include, rape, sexual violence and sexual assault.

When Sexual Abuse occurs, it is all about control and power, NOT love or sex. This type of abuse includes sexual child abuse, incest, rape, attempted rape, fondling, sexual harassment, human trafficking, or unwanted sexual contact of any kind. Keep in mind that physical force is NOT used in the majority of sexual assault cases and visible injuries are often not displayed outwardly by victims.

Possible Sexual Abuse Warning Signs in a Child’s Behavior
If your child is going through a traumatic experience due to being sexually abused, they may exhibit these behaviors.

• Child is distant at unexpected times or appear distracted
• Mood swings are suddenly occurring to include insecurity, fear, withdrawal or rage
• Sleep problems without an explanation or begins having nightmares
• Certain places/people begin to cause a new or unusual fear
• Eating habits change as they begin to have trouble swallowing, develop a refusal to eat or drastically lose/increase appetite
• Dreams, plays, writes or draws frightening images/dreams
• Sexual behaviors, knowledge and language become advanced for their age without explanation
• Gifts, money and toys appear out of nowhere without any explanation
• The child views their body as dirty, bad or repulsive
• When asked if any secrets were shared with them from an adult or older child, they refuse to talk/share any information
• “Clues” are left that seem likely to provoke a discussion about sexual issues
• A new older friend comes up in discussion

Signs of Abuse in Younger Children

• Talks to other children into playing sexual games or behaving sexually
• Soiling accidents and bed wetting that occurs unrelated to toilet training
• Displays new vocabulary for private body parts
• An older child behaves like a younger child by doing activities they should have outgrown to include thumb sucking or bed-wetting
• Mimics adult-like behaviors sexually with stuffed animals or toys
• Exhibits hesitation when taking clothes off during times that most would considerate appropriate times (i.e. diapering, bath, bed, toileting)

Signs of Abuse in Adolescents

• Compulsive eating or dieting
• Sexual promiscuity
• Anxiety, depression
• Drug and alcohol abuse
• Self-injury to include burning, cutting or unusual bruises
• Fear of closeness to other or intimacy
• Suicide attempts
• Running away from home
• Personal hygiene is neglected

Warning Signs of Physical Abuse

Although physical signs of sexual abuse are rarer, if you notice any signs of physical abuse, take your child to a doctor immediately. Once the child is evaluated, a doctor can determine if sexually transmitted diseases are of concern and proper testing can be done.

• Soiling and wetting accidents unrelated to toilet training is occurring
• Recurring or persistent pain during bowel movements and urination is occurring
• Bleeding, discoloration, pain or discharge in mouth, genitals or anus

Any type of abuse that a narcissist inflicts on another person is considered to be narcissistic abuse. A narcissist is someone who has been diagnosed to have Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD),a mental disorder characterized by a life-long pattern of exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a diminished ability to empathize with others’ feelings (source: Wikipedia). Some significant characteristics of Narcissistic Abuse include behaviors like Gaslighting, Manipulation, Lying, Emotional Blackmail, Negative Contrasting, Privacy Invasion, Violence etc. Victims of Narcissistic Abuse can end up with low self-esteem, low self-confidence, self-doubt, second-guessing themselves, isolating themselves from others. If one finds themselves helpless and hopeless in such a relationship it might be beneficial to reach out for help from a support group or therapist.

Elder abuse is intentional act, or failure to take appropriate action, occurring within any relationship where there is an expectation of trust, which causes harm or distress to an older person. An older adult is someone age 60 or older.This type of violence constitutes a violation of human rights and includes physical, sexual, psychological and emotional abuse; financial and material abuse; abandonment; neglect; and serious loss of dignity and respect.

WHO Key Facts 

• During the past year 1 in 6 people over 60 years, have experienced some form of abuse in community settings
• Institutions such as nursing homes and long-term care facilities, the  rates of elder abuse are high in with 2 in 3 staff reporting that they have committed abuse in the past year
• During the COVID-19 pandemic, the rates of elderly abuse have increased
• Long term psychological consequences  and physical injuries are caused by elderly abuse
• There is predictions of increase in elder abuse in  many countries as result of rapidly aging populations
• The global population will more than double from  900 million in 2015 to about 2 billion in 2050, of people aged 60 and older.

Child (Emotional, Physical, Financial and Sexual,) Abuse is a historical phenomenon that has only recently become the object of systematic and intense study. Sadly, it can be found in every culture and in every society. A topic that used to be considered taboo is now being talked about more openly. Although statistics are available about abuse, many organizations have said that most statistics do not represent the true extent of this issue. Often underestimated, many cases go unreported for a variety of reasons.

A FEW STATISTICS BELOW:

• Over 90% know their attacker when it comes to child sexual abuse victims (“Sexual Assault of Young Children The cost of child abuse and neglect costs our nation $220 million every day Prevent Child Abuse America)
• In the US. it is reported that over 700 million children are victims of abuse and violence each year (The Protection of Minors in the Church)
• Around 70% of children who die are under the age of 4 due to abuse (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)
• Child abuse reports are made every 10 seconds in the United States. (American Society for the Positive Care of Children)
• 1 in 7 boys and 1 in 3 girls will be sexually assaulted by the time they reach 18 (Department of Justice)
• More than 4 children die every day due to child abuse (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)
• Roughly 30% of those abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the cycle of violence (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services)

There are a number of ways that child abuse can occur. In the event that your child is suffering from abuse, forensic interviews can be conducted, emotional support and counseling to children is available who are victims of physical, sexual and domestic violence, to include cases where the child may have witnessed any kind of abuse should all be reported.

There is a great misconception about Child Abuse. Often times, we are made to believe that Child Abuse means something external happened like a black eye or a cut across the face. Although physical abuse is shocking due to the marks it leaves, other signs of physical abuse can’t always be seen. Other forms of child abuse and neglect that can leave lasting scars on kids can include having children be unsupervised, exposed to sexual or dangerous situations, or making them feel stupid or worthless.

THE EFFECTS OF CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT:

Regardless of the type of abuse, they all leave lasting scars. Emotional scarring, like physical abuse, has long lasting effects throughout a victim’s life, often leaving a child’s sense of self worth damaged and confused about what health relationships look like with others. This can affect their home life, work life and relationships at school.

Feeling hopeless and worthless. If you happened to grow up in a family where you were told repeatedly that you were no good, dumb or made to believe that you would never amount to anything, this can have a tremendous outcome on your self esteem both in your childhood and adulthood. It is common to see those growing up in abusive homes to drop out of school, give up on their dreams, settle for low-paying jobs because of a low self worth. If sexual abuse has occurred, this leaves the child feeling shameful surrounding the abuse and resulting in feeling like damaged goods.

Acting out. As a result of not being in a safe environment to voice their emotions safely, abused children will stuff their emotions, leading to an expression of their emotions in other unexpected ways. If the abuse goes unchecked, adult survivors may struggle with anger, and unexplained depression and anxiety. To numb these painful feelings, they may resort to alcohol or drugs.

Relationship difficulties and lack of trust. Did you grow up not being able to trust your parents? If so, not having this base can make it extremely difficult to learn how to trust people or know who to confide in. This oftentimes can lead to unhealthy relationships, difficulty maintaining relationships in adulthood along with a host of other issues.

The emotional impact of abusive behavior can be seen and experienced in many ways. Abuse can be expressed through coldness, stony silence, slapping, being neglected food, harsh demeaning comments, along with a host of other expressions of neglect or lack of concern. These actions can lead to the child feeling neglected, alone and unsafe.

The many faces of emotional abuse. It is common for emotional abuse to go unchecked compared to physical abuse. The truth is that words can hurt and emotionally abuse children just as severely as physical abuse. A child’s precious mental health and social development can be substantially impacted if abused.

Does your child suffer from any of the below emotional abuse:

• Exposing your child to violence against others (ex: can be against the other parent, a sibling, a pet, etc.)
• Calling names and making negative, hurtful comparisons to others
• Calling things to your child like “you’re no good,” “you’re worthless,” “bad,” or “a mistake”
• Witnesses frequent yelling, threatening, or bullying either in school or at home
• Ignoring or rejecting a child as part of “punishment” by giving them the silent treatment (ex: turning up the radio when the child is talking while driving)
• Constant shaming, belittling and humiliation towards your child
• Limiting physical contact with a child—neglecting them from giving you/them hugs, kisses, or other signs of affection

Signs of physical abuse. There are misconceptions about physical abuse which make it all that more important to understand. If your family lashes out in anger, this can be very destructive to children in the long term. Abusive parents who become angry and have a desire to assert control without trying to teach the child in a loving manner right from wrong, may find their children imitating their actions. The more angry and aggressive the parents become, the greater the abuse. If an environment is established in which children feel fearful due to the parents need to exercise control and power, this is physical abuse. Often times, this desire to control their children often leads to the reverse effect in which the child learns how to avoid being hit and may run away rather than learn how to grow into a healthy individual.

If you believe your child/children are being exposed to a potentially abusive environment, don’t be afraid to speak up as ARO is here to assist

Spousal (Physical) Abuse occurs when a person uses physical force against you, which causes, or could cause, you harm.

Often times, as women, it becomes easy to believe the lies that comes along with physiological abuse by our spouse. Physical abuse can often be progressive, starting with a slap or a push and later turning into something much worse later. It is important to note that any physical violence is illegal. If you are a victim of spousal abuse, support is available.

Spousal abuse, also called domestic abuse or intimate partner abuse, can include physical, psychological, and financial abuse perpetrated by a spousal/domestic/intimate partner against the people they should care for. Spousal abuse often begins with incidents such as screaming, slapping, or pushing that may seem innocuous or a one-time occurrence, but progressively develop into continuous, more threatening abuse.

Even when spousal abuse becomes more habitual, abusers will continue to deny their responsibility, opting instead to blame the victim’s behavior. They also may blame their own actions on outside influences, such as alcohol or stress. If abusers do apologize for their behavior, it is often because they are using the apology as a tool of abuse. They hope that their apologies will convince victims to stay in the relationship so that they can continue to abuse them. Remember, apologies never justify violence or the abuser.

It may seem extremely hard to leave an abuser—in fact, this is what the abuser wants one to believe—but remember that you are not alone. Norm Therapy® provides a variety of services, and if you are feeling in immediate danger, contact emergency services as soon as possible. We plan to expand our services, but we can’t do this without your support. Please consider donating to Norm Therapy® to help us provide critical services to abuse survivors.