By: Amanda Hildreth

Technology and its societal role have changed drastically over the last 20 years. Smartphones, tablets, smartwatches, and other commonly used technology provide convenience, putting the world at our fingertips. But what happens when that technology is used to abuse others?

What Is Digital Abuse?

Digital Abuse is the use of technology to harass, demean, or intimidate someone. Digital Abuse can take many forms. Digital Abuse can happen at any stage in a relationship, to someone of any age, although it is more common among young adults and teens (Joyful Heart Foundation, 2018). It can also occur outside of intimate relationships, such as through friends, an acquaintance, or on a dating website (OneLove, 2023). Digital Abuse may also be accompanied by other forms of Domestic Violence. Ninety-six percent of teens who experienced digital abuse also experienced Sexual, Physical, or Psychological Abuse from their partners (Joyful Heart Foundation, 2018). 

Digital Abuse Can Take Many Forms

Digital Abuse is another form of stalking that creates fear, helplessness, and a safety concern (Lynn, 2020).

Digital Abuse can take many forms, including but not limited to (Family Sunshine Center, 2023):

• Surveillance and Monitoring: Smart home devices such as security cameras, smart doorbells, voice assistants, thermostats, and locks connected to the internet can be used to track the movements and activities of a Victim without their consent. Someone may remotely access the live feed of cameras, view recorded footage, or use a voice assistant to listen in on the individual’s conversations. Abusers may also install spyware on computers, cellphones, or tablets to remotely access social media accounts or email accounts without permission to collect information such as passwords.
  
  
• Cyberstalking and Harassment: Abusers may use social media and other platforms to send threatening messages, explicit images, or degrading comments. They may create a fake profile or impersonate the Victim online to damage their reputation. Cyberstalking includes constant and unwanted attention including making false accusations, posting damaging content, and sending messages excessively.

 

• Manipulation and Control: Abusers who can access smart home devices may use them to control the Victim or their environment. They can remotely change temperature settings, lock and unlock doors, turn lights off and on, or activate alarms to create an environment of fear and intimidation. Abusers may also control who the individual can communicate with, what they can post, or what websites they can access online. Abusers may also manipulate Victims to share their passwords to gain access to their accounts to enable further control. 

 

• Digital Isolation: Abusers may use technology to isolate the Victim from family, friends, and other support. This may include monitoring or blocking communication, restricting access to the internet itself or specific devices, or spreading false information to damage the Victim’s relationships.

 

• Unauthorized Use of Apps: Common legitimate apps called dual apps can be used to monitor individuals and often go undetected. These apps are often free and accessible to anyone. Apps such as Google Maps and Find My Phone or shared internet accounts with the abuser can all be used to stalk a Victim. Some apps are obvious such as Sneaky Cam and Secret Agent which have thermal camera features and methods to take pictures unnoticed (Lynn, 2020).
  

• GPS: An abuser may use GPS, a phone, or a tracking device placed on a vehicle or in something the Victim often takes wherever they go such as a purse to track the moments of the Victim. These tracking devices can often be used without the Victim’s knowledge and many devices now alert the abuser if the device is removed (Lynn, 2020). 

How To Stay Safe Digitally

If you believe you are experiencing Digital Abuse or simply want to protect yourself from it, there are steps you can take to protect yourself and others online.

You can protect yourself by (Family Sunshine Center, 2023, Gordon, 2023):

• Learning about digital safety, privacy settings, and security. It is important to understand the risks and the methods that abusers may use against you.
• Control who has access to your devices such as your smartphone, tablet, computer, etc.
• Keep your devices and online accounts as secure as possible by knowing your privacy settings. Social media has customizable privacy settings, which allow you to control who can send you messages or requests, who can tag you in photos, and can allow you to block a user if needed.
• Document threatening messages, videos, voicemails, emails, or photos from your abuser as evidence.
• Be mindful about sharing your location or posting photos where people can easily tell your location, such as with common landmarks.
• Don’t share your passwords with anyone.
• Don’t tag your friends in photos without their permission because they may want their location kept private.
• Don’t send anything private digitally. Abusers often use photos or messages against a Victim to cause embarrassment, humiliation, or to exert control.

Remember that you have the right to feel safe and respected in any relationship and that setting boundaries on and offline is normal and acceptable.

Resources Where You Can Learn More About Digital Abuse

There are some excellent free online tools available to learn more about Digital Abuse, including (Family Sunshine Center, 2023):

• Technology Safety & Privacy: A Toolkit for Survivors: Created by the National Network to End Domestic Violence as a part of the Safety Net Project, this toolkit has safety tips, information, and online privacy strategies. https://www.techsafety.org/resources-survivors

 

• Coalition Against Stalkerware: This coalition was created to combat Digital Abuse and unite organizations that work to stop Domestic Violence as well as the IT community. Their videos about stalkerware help Victims and Survivors to better understand and detect the signs that stalkerware is present on their devices.

https://stopstalkerware.org/

• Stay Safe Online: This tool created by the National Cybersecurity Alliance has simple resources and guides on how to stay safe online. 

https://staysafeonline.org/resources/

• Women’s Law: This project, created by the National Network to End Domestic Violence, has great resources on how an abuser may use technology against the Victim.
  https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/abuse-using-technology

If you are experiencing Digital Abuse, it is crucial to seek professional help. Consider reaching out to a Norm Therapist®, support services, and/or helplines.

At ARO, we are here to support your personal healing journey towards your complete well-being. We bring solutions and real-time education for 21 different types of abuses. The most prevalent abuses are Sexual Abuse, Spousal Abuse, Physical Abuse, Psychological Abuse, Narcissistic Abuse, Financial Abuse, Self Abuse, Elderly Abuse, Isolation Abuse, Child Abuse, Bullying, Cyberbullying, Workplace Abuse, Religious Abuse, Medical Abuse, Food Abuse, Authority Abuse, Educational Abuse, Child Sexual Exploitation, Sex Trafficking, and Political Abuse. Support our efforts by visiting GoARO.org and NormTherapy.com to sign up for Norm Therapist® Training to become one of our dynamic staff members who serve Victims and Survivors of abuse worldwide, schedule Norm Therapy® sessions, become a Live Stream volunteer, join our mailing list to learn how you can make an impact on the Abuse Care Community, and provide life-saving financial assistance with a generous donation.

Victim/Survivor Testimonial of Norm Therapy®️: Nate

Norm Therapy®️ was very effective at addressing sensitive topics that are often far overdue. The direct approach and questions make the program very effective and efficient. The often self-challenging questions allowed for more incredible personal growth and visibility than other therapy services. In addition, Norm Therapy®️ provides additional therapists allow for multiple communication paths that ease some topics.

Norm Therapy®️ was essential in transforming my life and helping me through a transformative and truly life-changing phase. Norm Therapy®️ was remarkably effective, reinstalling my values and beliefs before traumas while maintaining self-worth and dignity during the healing process. It gave me substantial tools and information to continue to tackle the challenges that I have faced.

Without those tools and the help through trying times, I would not be where I am today, and my progress would not be nearly as substantial. Almost every facet of my life has improved since I started Norm Therapy®️. There have been substantial changes in emotional intelligence, stress management, and a significant build-up in my character. On the flip side, I haven’t seen any negative impacts on my life and cannot imagine any will manifest as everything coming out of Norm Therapy®️ has seemed very positive.

 

Sources:

Joyful Heart Foundation. (2018, August 23). What is Digital Abuse? Signs to Watch For and How to Get Help. Joyfulheartfoundation.org. https://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/blog/digital-abuse-signs-and-help 

One Love Foundation. (2023, December 13). Facts about digital abuse you need to know. One Love Foundation. https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/digital_abuse/ 

Lynn, R. (2020, January 19). What is Digital abuse?. Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence. https://breakthesilencedv.org/what-is-digital-abuse-2/ 

Family Sunshine Center. (2023, May 31). Abuse in the Digital age. Family Sunshine Center. https://familysunshine.org/abuse-in-the-digital-age/ 

Gordon, S. (2023, October 2). Learn to recognize digital dating abuse with these tips. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/spotting-digital-dating-abuse-4158244