By: Rashmi Negi

It can be hard to come to terms emotionally with the fact that you are being abused and even harder to muster the courage to get out of an abusive situation. We know it’s a difficult and long process, and it’s okay if you feel lost at times. If you’re unsure about how or even where to start, we want to help answer some of your questions. Here are some important steps to take when leaving an abusive relationship.

Know the Different Forms of Abuse

Abuse can take many forms in a relationship. Some of the different types of abuse are sexual, spousal, psychological, financial, and narcissistic abuse. In a relationship, you should be able to trust your partner more than anyone and share the most intimate moments with them. If that love, trust, and respect turn into pain and suffering, it’s time to rethink the whole relationship. It is essential to identify the patterns of abuse and act upon them. If your partner is dangerous and capable of hurting you, it’s necessary to develop a plan to move away from them.

Recognize That It Is Not Your Fault

Avoid surrounding yourself with negative thoughts, and don’t take responsibility for what has happened.  The abuse was not your mistake, and you are not to blame for whatever happened to you. No matter how many mistakes you make, your partner has no right to abuse you.
An abuser can make you feel insignificant and try to control your life. They can cut your ties with family and friends and make you feel alone. You have to remember that you can take back control of yourself and your future with the right help.

Reach Out To Family And Friends

Talk to family, friends, doctors, counselors, or whoever you feel comfortable opening up to about what you’ve been through (Relationships and Safety, 2018). They can help you take the necessary steps to move out of the situation with a safe exit strategy. Even if things become dangerous, try and be mindful and seek the help of your family and friends. In such a situation, create a code that your abusive partner will not understand and circulate it among family, friends, or even neighbors. Try to communicate with others to ensure constant safety.

Collect All Your Necessary Belongings 

Collect all of your essential documents and belongings and keep them out of your partner’s sight (Relationships and Safety, 2018). It is also crucial to remove your partner as a beneficiary from all the required documents if they have given you access to do so. If you are a parent, it is wise to turn to your attorney regarding legal matters.
Drawing up a plan is the first step to liberating yourself. Talk to family members or friends at a safe location to ensure your partner is unaware.

Move Out if Possible

If your partner is more likely to cause you harm, it is a good idea to take this drastic step in their absence. The idea is to keep yourself as safe as possible. If you are unable to safely leave, you can also contact the secure number for the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).

You do not have to face abusive situations alone. Abuse Refuge Org (ARO) offers an opportunity for abuse survivors to come together, share their experiences, and provide and receive support. Visit GoARO.org to learn more about ARO and please consider donating to help others find refuge.

Source:
“Relationships and Safety.” (September 13, 2018). U.S. Department of Health & Human Services. https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/domestic-violence/leaving-abusive-relationship