By: Mandie Schreck

Growing up in a narcissistic household can affect a child’s development from adolescence to adulthood. Many people who grew up in narcissistic homes struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Narcissistic parents often lack empathy, encouragement, and even a desire to see their children succeed in life. Even if the individual cuts ties with their parents or guardians, the abuse can negatively affect their autonomy, mental health, and social interactions.

If the parent continually taught their child that they were wrong or only made wrong choices, that child may develop a “people-pleaser” mentality. They may depend on approval from friends, relationships, colleagues, or bosses while ignoring their own wants and needs. They may feel stupid or unworthy of the simplest joys in life (Sarkis, 2021).

An adult raised with this type of upbringing may also have difficulty trusting their intuition or constantly question their life choices. They may feel unworthy of their choices or feel like they do not belong because of their need to constantly seek approval. Individuals who have grown up with the mentality that they need approval from others may not have felt a sense of safety or security in any relationship (Sarkis, 2021).

Relationships can also be greatly affected by the abuse and narcissistic upbringing an individual may have experienced. From romantic relationships to friendships, these individuals often have unhealthy attachments. Some individuals may fall into codependency in their relationships, or they may be so independent they have no trust in anyone (Launder, 2020). Narcissistic parents may have had conditions for love or affection, which can then translate into adulthood for their child. They may feel as if they need to work for love or affection and feel some conditions need to be met. This can also create anxious attachment styles, including entering relationships with narcissistic individuals — creating a cycle of narcissistic tendencies and expectations (Arabi, 2019).

No matter the relationship a person has with their parents or guardians that raised them in a narcissistic home, there is hope in regaining autonomy and control. By recognizing that we all have the power to connect with our strength no matter the upbringing we had, we can move forward into a bright future.

Dealing with guilt, self-worth, and acknowledging success are some of the hardest lessons we have to learn after growing up in a fragmented home. This journey may be incredibly difficult, but knowing our worth and strength can bring endless opportunities and immense joy.

We are here to support you in your personal healing journey. We bring awareness and education to ten different types of abuse — Sexual, Spousal, Physical, Psychological, Narcissistic, Financial, Self, Child, Bullying, and Cyberbullying — and help others heal and find peace.

To learn more and support our life-saving efforts, visit GoARO.org.

References

Arabi, S. (2019, May 29). 5 common struggles children of narcissists face in adulthood. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/blog/recovering-narcissist/2019/05/5-common-struggles-children-of-narcissists-face-in-adulthood#5

Launder, A. (2020). The impact of growing up with a narcissistic parent. The Awareness Centre. https://theawarenesscentre.com/narcissistic-parent/

Sarkis, S. A. (2021, June 26). The Adult Consequences of Growing Up with a Narcissistic Parent. Psychology Today.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/202106/the-adult-consequences-growing-narcissistic-parent