By: Dylan Kretchmar

Valentine’s Day is all about love! While showing love for friends, family, your significant other, and yourself should be a year-round practice, February 14th inspires many to take it one step further. For many, this includes giving a meaningful gift. 

The best gifts are personal without breaking the bank. However, finding the perfect gift can be stressful. Chocolate? Flowers? New clothes? Jewelry? A pet? With so many choices and so little time, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.

Even with the rise in online shopping, many people still choose to shop in physical stores, hoping something will catch their eye or so that they can inspect the item in person before gifting it. Many stores even offer special Valentine’s Day products and deals, increasing your chances of finding the perfect gift. However, this also means navigating crowds of other shoppers on the same mission. A day out shopping may involve long lines, sold-out items, and unfavorable weather, all of which can put a damper on the holiday spirit.

At the center of all this activity are the unsung heroes of the season: retail workers. It’s important to remember to spread the love and be extra kind and considerate to them. During peak shopping months, such as Valentine’s Day, retail employees face overwhelming workloads, increased customer interactions, frequent shoplifting attempts, and longer hours caused by persistent staffing shortages. On top of this, many workers experience heightened workplace abuse from customers frustrated by long waits, crowded stores, and the mounting pressure of not ruining their relationships by giving a terrible gift, factors entirely outside the workers’ control.

The Not-So-Lovely Rise in Retail Abuse

Workplace Abuse is considered any incident in which an employee is abused, threatened, or assaulted while at work. This includes physical violence, Emotional or Verbal Abuse, and intimidating/coercive behavior. While people often think of Workplace Abuse as occurring between managers and employees (or among coworkers) it also includes mistreatment by customers.

Multiple surveys show that customer-related abuse against retail workers has risen sharply in recent years. The Shop, Distributive and Allied Employees Association’s annual survey found that incidents of physical violence against workers in 2024 had doubled compared to 2023 and tripled since 2021 (Giannini, 2025).

Similarly, the second annual U.S. Retail Worker Safety Report shows that a majority of American retail workers feel unsafe during peak holiday shopping hours. Those interviewed mention increases in crime, store theft, and hostile customer interactions over the past few years. Staffing shortages have also intensified these challenges, with 68% of interviewed workers saying understaffing contributes to their sense of insecurity (SSI Staff, 2024). Retail Abuse has not only increased, but has also become more hostile and violent. As a result, 20% of those surveyed said they now contact public safety personnel, including police, EMS, or fire services, at least once a week, a 16% increase from 2023 (SSI Staff, 2024).

This rise in abuse has serious consequences. Many retail workers suffer burnout, heightened stress, and both mental and physical health issues. They often feel unsafe, undervalued, and unsupported in their workplaces, leading some to seek new jobs or dread coming into their current ones (End Workplace Abuse, n.d.). It can ruin the holiday season, even during their time off.

Abusive customer behavior can also affect other shoppers’ experiences. Hostile or threatening situations may drive customers away, prompting them to shop elsewhere where they feel more comfortable.

To provide a glimpse into the realities of holiday retail work, the following stories are shared directly by retail workers. They highlight moments of mistreatment encountered during the busiest times of the year and are shared in hopes that customers will show just a little more love.

Shoplifting and Taking Swings

Michael Fowler spent seven years working in retail before finally leaving the industry last January. By then, he says, he had reached his breaking point. Over the past few years, he noticed a dramatic rise in customer aggression directed at him and his coworkers, behavior that he describes as getting “worse and worse (Ogston, 2025).” What began as isolated, rude remarks and petty shoplifting escalated into near-daily incidents of Physical and Verbal Abuse. He recalls being punched, spat on, and even threatened with a knife while trying to do his job.

One particularly memorable incident was captured on the store’s CCTV cameras. In the footage, a man wearing a grey sweatshirt and Nike sneakers attempts to walk out with a basket full of unpaid merchandise (Ogston, 2025). When Fowler and another employee approached him, the man reacted violently, swinging the basket at Fowler with enough force to send the contents scattering across the floor. Instead of giving up, the man twisted away from their attempts to stop him and frantically scrambled on the ground, shoving products into his pockets before fleeing the store.

According to Fowler, incidents like this weren’t rare; they happened “almost daily.” For workers earning low wages with limited support, the constant cycle of threats, fear, and conflict takes an immense toll. Fowler says he now suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and recurring nightmares linked to his time in retail. Many of his former colleagues, he adds, deal with similar lasting trauma (Ogston, 2025).

Because of this, Fowler has a simple message for shoppers during the busy holiday season: remember that retail workers are people. “We’re human beings just like everybody else,” he says. “We should really enjoy that holiday experience in store (Ogston, 2025).” 

He emphasizes that kindness, no matter how small, has a real impact on those interacting with hundreds of customers a day. “Even simple acts, such as a smile, a thank-you, or a hello to the person serving you, can go a long, long way to make a real difference (Ogston, 2025).” 

A Crappy Holiday Surprise and Not the Chocolate Kind

Jocelyn, 26, worked at a mid-range women’s clothing store during the height of the holiday shopping rush. She describes the season as “very frantic and stressful” due to the constant blur of overflowing crowds, chronic understaffing, and little to no support from management (Lemiski, 2018). Every shift felt like a sprint. She bounced between fitting rooms and the sales floor, juggling customers who needed different sizes, reorganizing discarded clothing, and trying to keep the store functional. She barely had a moment to breathe.

On one particularly chaotic afternoon, a woman hurried into the store asking for the bathroom. Jocelyn, stationed near the fitting rooms just beside it, quickly pointed her in the right direction before rushing back to her tasks.

A few minutes later, the woman returned. She approached Jocelyn and said flatly, “You are going to need to clean up in there.” Jocelyn assumed the bathroom was simply messy from heavy foot traffic and apologized, promising she would take care of it soon. The woman waved off the apology and replied, “No, I’m sorry,” before leaving the store (Lemiski, 2018). 

What awaited Jocelyn in the bathroom would be impossible to forget.

Because scent is directly routed to the brain’s amygdala and hippocampus, the brain’s memory and emotion hubs, smell can create and trigger vivid, emotionally charged, deep-seated memories unlike any of the other senses. And the moment Jocelyn opened the bathroom door, the scene and stench seared themselves into her memory with visceral force.

The small restroom looked as though it had been hit by a pressure washer filled with diarrhea. The walls, toilet, and sink were splattered with projectile, greenish-brown feces. A thick puddle of it pooled on the floor beside the toilet. Sitting on top of it was a single, thoroughly soaked square of toilet paper as a half-hearted and futile attempt at cleaning. The odor was overwhelming, heavy, and sour, like an animal enclosure that had been left uncleaned for days.

Stunned, Jocelyn, who was only earning just eleven dollars an hour, went straight to her manager. “There’s feces all over the bathroom,” she told him. “I think it’s a health risk.” She expected him to take over or call someone trained to handle hazardous cleanup. Instead, he shook his head and said, “I have OCD, and I can’t even think about that because I’m going to have a panic attack. So you need to clean it up (Lemiski, 2018).” 

Not wanting to risk her job, Jocelyn reluctantly gathered a mop and a bucket of water and prepared herself for what would easily be the worst task of her entire retail career.

On the way to the bathroom, however, the wheels of the heavy bucket caught on the raised lip between the carpeted fitting room and the tiled restroom. The bucket toppled, sending a full wave of water across the floor and directly into the feces-covered bathroom. The filthy water quickly spilled back out into the carpeted fitting room, turning the area into a contaminated, foul-smelling mess. Jocelyn was splashed in the process, her clothes soaked with the woman’s poop (Lemiski, 2018).

Still expected to resolve it, she spent the next several hours scrubbing the bathroom, the fitting room carpet, and even herself. She worked at the stains, the smell, and the soaked fibers until the mop had to be thrown away entirely. When she finally emerged exhausted, nauseated, and emotionally drained, she discovered that her manager had left early because “the situation had stressed her out,” leaving Jocelyn alone to finish the shift, despite the store already being short-staffed (Lemiski, 2018).

Return Rage

Carol, 59, has worked in retail for more than forty years and has many of her own stories of nearly every kind of customer behavior imaginable. She now works at an affluent, high-end specialty store that becomes especially hectic during the holiday season (Lemiski, 2018). 

During one particularly frantic holiday rush, a customer approached the service desk, insisting on returning a bulk container of hazelnuts that had expired a decade earlier. The container was nearly ten years old. She had no receipt and no rewards account on file. When the service manager calmly explained that a return was impossible under any policy, the woman’s frustration quickly escalated. She raised her voice, complained loudly within earshot of other customers, and demanded to speak with the store manager (Lemiski, 2018).

When the manager arrived, he listened patiently to her grievances. To Carol’s astonishment, he ultimately agreed to an exchange, offering the customer a new container of hazelnuts to de-escalate the situation. But the concession only fueled the customer’s anger. She noticed that the current container size was 12 ounces, not the 16 ounces of her long-expired purchase, and launched into yet another tirade, this time accusing the store of cheating her (Lemiski, 2018).

Eager to end the confrontation and keep the line moving, the manager relented again, allowing the customer to take two containers instead of one. Satisfied at last, the woman left the store without acknowledging the disruption she had caused.

Although Carol was not the direct target of the customer’s rage, the encounter added another layer of stress to an already overwhelming day. The service manager and store manager absorbed the full force of the outburst, a familiar burden in retail work. For Carol, the incident was a stark reminder that even decades of experience cannot shield retail workers from the emotional toll of entitled behavior, especially during the holidays, when patience is in short supply (Lemiski, 2018).

Give the Gift of Love and Patience

While these stories are more on the extreme side of things, even an extreme of verbal insults during a moment of frustration can have compounding effects on an employee’s mental health. Over time, this behavior can contribute to detrimental mental and physical conditions, as well as workplace burnout. As we navigate this busy season, a little patience, understanding, and gratitude can go a long way in supporting the people who keep stores running, many of whom are doing demanding work for minimum wage.

We support your healing journey towards complete well-being. We bring solutions and real-time education for 28 different abuse types including Narcissism, Sexual, Physical, Psychological, Financial, Child, Self, Cyberbullying (Including Online Abuse), Bullying, Spousal, Workplace, Elderly, Isolation, Religious, Medical, Food, Authority, Educational, Child Sexual Exploitation, Sex Trafficking, Political, Weather and we’ve added six services and protocols including Norm Therapy® for PTSD, Educators, Police, Prisons, Suicide, and Military. Support our efforts by visiting AbuseRefuge.org and NormTherapy.com to sign up for Norm Therapist® Training to become one of our dynamic staff members who serve Victims and Survivors of abuse worldwide, schedule Norm Therapy® sessions, become a Live Stream volunteer, join our mailing list to learn how you can make an impact on the Abuse Care Community, and provide life-saving financial assistance with a generous donation.

References

End Workplace Abuse. (n.d.). Workplace psychological abuse. https://endworkplaceabuse.com/workplace-psychological-abuse/

Giannini, D. (2025, December 6). Retail workers detail horrific abuse ahead of Xmas rush. Junee Southern Cross. https://www.juneesoutherncross.com.au/story/9128094/retail-workers-detail-horrific-abuse-ahead-of-xmas-rush/

Lemiski, M. (2018, December 21). Retail workers tell us their holiday horror stories. VICE. https://www.vice.com/en/article/retail-workers-tell-us-their-holiday-horror-stories/

Ogston, G, (2025, November 4). ‘I’ve been punched, spat at and threatened with a knife’. BBC. https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cly439jprzeo 

SSI Staff. (2024, November 12). U.S. retail workers cite increased safety concerns ahead of holiday shopping season. Security Sales & Integration. https://www.securitysales.com/news/u-s-retail-worker-safety-concerns-holiday-shopping-season/163169/