By: Rashmi Negi

A person in a healthy relationship trusts their partner the most and feels secure in their presence. However, this can easily change when things fall between the cracks that result in misunderstandings, disagreements, arguments, and other issues in a relationship. There are ways to mend and work toward a healthy relationship, but when there are red flags, it is precisely the time to think about it all over again.

Spousal Abuse or Domestic Violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, and financial. It can be harmful when the partner uses hurtful words or behavior to control their spouse. Physical Abuse occurs when the partner hits or pulls their spouse angrily or without remorse. The intent can be to harm or not, depending on their mindset in the given situation. Another example is when the partner forces themselves on their spouse for sexual activities and leaves no choice but to comply with their partner. Every time the partner wishes to control every decision of their spouse, including cutting off their family and friendship ties, these actions make them feel worthless and isolated. These individuals will take control of the finances in an attempt to control as much as possible.

In relationships, it becomes important to identify red flags and set some personal boundaries. When the partner makes hurtful comments or mocks their spouse, it is time to speak up immediately. If the partner is cruel or behaves aggressively, immediately move away, creating personal space. Communicate disapproval so that your partner sees your discomfort and will hopefully recognize their behavior. Take your time, but it is essential to remove yourself from a toxic environment. Reach out to family and friends, and possibly find somewhere else to stay. In the meantime, if the partner tries to reconnect, communicate clearly that such behavior is unacceptable. Do not underestimate and be adamant that respect is necessary for any relationship. Unfortunately, if nothing works and the red flags do not cease, it is time to create a plan. Reaching out to the domestic violence helpline for some guidance can be helpful.

Spousal Abuse can completely shatter a person’s willingness to trust someone. It is crucial to identify and understand the red flags and set personal boundaries in every relationship.

Abuse Refuge Org focuses on Spousal Abuse along with nine other abuse categories. ARO offers a survivors group for Abuse Survivors to come together, share their experiences, and provide and receive support. Visit https://abuserefuge.org/ to learn more about ARO.