Understanding Consent: What it is and What it Looks Like

By: Dylan Kretchmar

Consent is an informed, voluntary, and ongoing agreement made between all individuals involved in a particular activity or decision. It relies on clear, frequent communication, mutual respect, and trust. Consent is not the absence of a “no” or an assumed “yes” – it requires an explicit, affirmative “yes.” It can be expressed verbally, physically, and/or in writing (RAINN, 2017).

We often associate consent with sexual activities, but obtaining consent is always necessary in instances where someone’s rights, autonomy, or well-being is affected by another person’s actions. This includes, but is not limited to: medical and healthcare treatments, legal contracts, data collection, exchanging personal information, photography or filming, and decisions involving minors or children.

This article explores the key areas of everyday life where consent is required and what it entails.

Consent in Personal Relationships

Consent is the foundation of all healthy relationships. Whether it is a friendship, romantic partnership, or sexual connection, clear, frequent communication and mutual trust are essential for building relationships where everyone’s boundaries, needs, and expectations are respected. These agreements may cover concerns such as financial responsibilities, division of household labor, time spent together, living arrangements, and the nature of sexual intimacy.

In a relationship, consent is not a one-and-done event – it is an ongoing conversation (RAINN, 2017). Even in long-term relationships or when engaging in previously agreed-upon sexual activities, it is still important to regularly check in with your partner. As people, we constantly evolve and grow, and with that, so do our needs and boundaries. When you no longer feel comfortable with a previous agreement, it is essential to speak up and communicate honestly with your partner.

Consent can be withdrawn at any time (RAINN, 2017). While it can feel difficult or uncomfortable to express your concerns, needs, or set new boundaries, withholding communication can erode trust with your partner and lead to a range of abuses, including Sexual, Physical, Psychological, and Financial, and that can compromise the health of the relationship and those involved. Healthy relationships are built on the mutual willingness to listen, respect, and adapt.

Consent in Healthcare

As a patient, you have the right to make informed, voluntary decisions about the care you receive. However, the process of giving consent can be challenging, especially when faced with the emotional stress, financial strain, complex terminology, and onslaught of information that can occur with medical treatment (American Cancer Society, 2019). These factors can make it difficult to fully understand your options or feel confident in advocating for your needs and wants.

Informed consent is a term coined by the medical community that refers to the open communication that occurs between you and your healthcare provider regarding your condition, available treatments, and their potential risks and benefits, and the opportunity to ask questions. The process of informed consent ensures you understand your options and can make decisions that are best for you (American Cancer Society, 2019).

Before treatment begins, patients will typically be asked to sign a consent form. This document exists primarily to protect your rights as a patient— to confirm that you’ve been adequately informed about your condition and treatment options and that your decision is voluntary. You also have the right to refuse any treatment or to seek care from another provider. In these cases, you may be asked to sign a refusal form indicating that you received the necessary information but chose not to proceed (American Cancer Society, 2019).

Even after a consent form is signed, you can change your mind at any time, including during treatment (American Cancer Society, 2019). If you do, it is essential to notify your healthcare provider as soon as possible so your treatment plan can be adjusted accordingly.

Consent and Online Data Collection

Suppose you use a mobile phone, computer, or consume online subscription services or social media. In that case, your online activity is likely being tracked and your data is being collected, stored, and used by websites and online services. This data can include your name, email, device details, and browsing and purchasing habits (Kiesel Law, 2023). Websites and online services use this data to enhance their content, optimize site performance, train AI models for third-party sharing, and personalize your online experience with targeted ads.

Websites and online services collect data in five main ways. The first way is through user input. When you create an account, make a purchase, or fill out a contact form, you are providing these websites with personal information, such as your name, email address, phone number, and purchasing preferences and habits. The second is through cookies – small text files stored in your device that can track your browsing history, preferences, and more. The third way is through your physical device. Websites can collect data, including your IP address, operating system, and browser type. The fourth method involves using AI, which employs techniques such as web scraping, APIs, and crawling to extract personal data from online posts on social media, blogs, and reviews (RTS Labs, 2024). Lastly, some websites obtain your data from third-party sources, such as social media platforms or data brokers, which collect your data and sell it to other companies (Kiesel Law, 2023).

Most of us will consent to data collection without even realizing it. A site’s privacy and data-use policies are typically included in its Terms of Service or Privacy Agreement. These agreements should outline what data is being collected, why it is being collected, how long that data is stored, their policies regarding third-party sharing, cookie usage, consent mechanisms, user rights, updates to their privacy policies, and the website’s contact information (Kiesel Law, 2023).

If you disagree with a platform’s data policies, there are many ways you can withdraw your consent. Users can adjust their browser settings to block or manage cookies or to update their privacy settings. You can contact the website to either inquire about or request data deletion. Depending on your location, data protection laws are in place that grant users the right to access, rectify, or delete their data. You can also unsubscribe from marketing emails and communications through the opt-out mechanisms at the bottom of those messages. Purchasing and using browser extensions designed for privacy can also help protect your online data (Kiesel Law, 2023).

The Age of Consent

In the United States, the legal age of sexual consent varies between states, ranging from 16 to 18 years old. Each state sets its laws, and some have close-in-age exemptions that allow for consensual sexual relationships between minors or between a minor and someone slightly older (Varghese, 2024). For example, in Ohio, where Abuse Refuge Org’s headquarters are located, the age of consent for sexual activity with someone older than them is 16 years old, and there are close-in-age exemptions for individuals under 16.

At the federal level, there are laws in place that protect minors from exploitation, particularly related to child pornography and trafficking, even if the activity is considered legal under state laws (Varghese, 2024).

For medical consent, the standard legal age is 18 years old, meaning that most minors cannot make medical decisions without the permission of their parents or guardians. However, minors can consent to specific treatments involving substance abuse, mental health care, and birth control. Additionally, emancipated minors can consent to all types of medical care as if they were adults (McNary, 2014).

Confidentiality is generally protected for minors, especially regarding reproductive and mental health. However, healthcare providers are allowed to break confidentiality if there is a serious risk to the minor’s health or safety, including threats of self-harm or abuse (McNary, 2014).

Consent and the Democratic Government

Many democratic nations, like the United States, are founded on the principle of the social contract – a political theory developed over centuries by thinkers including Socrates, Thomas Hobbes, John Locke, and Jean-Jacques Rousseau (Albert Shanker Institute, 2025). This theory suggests that individuals voluntarily relinquish certain freedoms to a governing authority in exchange for services such as security, public infrastructure, social welfare, and order provided by their government.

At its core, the social contract bases the legitimacy of government on the consent of the governed. In democratic systems, this means that the people are the ultimate source of power, and the government is expected to act following their rights, interests, and liberties (Albert Shanker Institute, 2025).

However, the consent of the governed faces some practical limitations. While it is founded on the idea of voluntary consent, most people are born into or even forced to flee to another government system and do not have a real alternative. Participation thus becomes mandatory rather than voluntary, and citizens must follow laws, pay taxes, and abide by policies even if they disagree with them. In a democracy, majority rule often guides decisions, meaning that those in the minority must still comply with those decisions, even when those outcomes conflict with their personal beliefs (Albert Shanker Institute, 2025).

The democratic system, however, does offer some ways for citizens to protect and express their interests. Citizens can vote in elections for representatives and policies, petition and contact their representative to advocate for their views, run for public office from the local to the federal level, gather and engage in peaceful protests and demonstrations, and use the legal tools outlined in their rights to protect their rights and challenge unjust laws (Albert Shanker Institute, 2025).

It is important to note that not all individuals living under a government are recognized as citizens. Refugees, undocumented residents, and certain marginalized groups often have limited or no ability to consent or influence their government, even if they are subject to the same laws and systems as citizens. This can make them more vulnerable to Political Abuses such as exploitation, systematic neglect, or discrimination.

Conclusion

In summary, consent plays an active role in many aspects of our everyday lives. Practicing consent means engaging in frequent, honest communication and respecting and listening to others’ boundaries. Whether in relationships, healthcare, online spaces, or society at large, consent supports safer, more respectful, and equitable realities for everyone.

If you or someone you know has experienced harm from a lack of consent, or if you would like to know more about consent and abuse, visit AbuseRefuge.org for support and further information. We bring solutions and real-time education for 28 different abuse types including Narcissism, Sexual, Physical, Psychological, Financial, Child, Self, Cyberbullying (Including Online Abuse), Bullying, Spousal, Workplace, Elderly, Isolation, Religious, Medical, Food, Authority, Educational, Child Sexual Exploitation, Sex Trafficking, Political, Weather and we’ve added six services and protocols including Norm Therapy® for PTSD, Educators, Police, Prisons, Suicide, and Military. Support our efforts by visiting AbuseRefuge.org and NormTherapy.com to sign up for Norm Therapist® Training to become one of our dynamic staff members who serve Victims and Survivors of abuse worldwide, schedule Norm Therapy® sessions, become a Live Stream volunteer, join our mailing list to learn how you can make an impact on the Abuse Care Community, and provide life-saving financial assistance with a generous donation.

Sources:

Albert Shanker Institute. (2025, Feb. 13). Consent of the Governed: Essential Principles.

Democracy Web. https://www.democracyweb.org/study-guide/consent-of-the-governed/essential-principles

American Cancer Society. (2019, May 13). What is Informed Consent?.

https://www.cancer.org/cancer/managing-cancer/making-treatment-decisions/informed-consent/what-is-informed-consent.html

Kiesel Law. (2023, Dec. 1). Data Collection and Consent: Understanding Online Privacy

Policies. Kiesel Law LLP News.

https://kbla.com/2023/12/01/data-collection-and-consent-understanding-online-privacy-policies/

McNary, Ann. (2014). Consent to Treatment of Minors. Innov Clin Neurosci, 11(3-4), 43-45.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4008301/

RAINN. (2017, Nov. 6). What is Consent?. https://rainn.org/news/what-consent?

RTS Labs. (2024. Sept. 20). Essential Strategies for Ethical and Effective Web Data Collection