By: Whitney Derman

So you’re considering therapy? I’m proud of you for taking that first step to a healthier and better you! Planning to go to therapy is a great step; however, not every therapist will be perfect for you. Finding your ideal match can be the make-it-or-break-it point between successful treatment that will help you grow or wasting time and money. So, here’s how to look for a therapist and what to do from there:

Look for therapists that participate with your health insurance. Once you find a list, look up reviews from Psychology Today or other mental health online forums, and ask for your friends’ recommendations (Wright, 2021). You may also want to consider an out-of-network therapist if you find a better fit elsewhere. If you do this, recommendations are even more important as you won’t have an automatic shortlist (Wright, 2021).

Once you have written a list of potential therapists, you’re ready to start looking for one.

Set up a consultation call with the therapists you are considering (Cleantis, 2011). If you are looking for help for a specific mental illness or circumstance, make sure they have experience working with your particular needs. Other questions to consider are:

● What school did the therapist attend? The best schools don’t necessarily make for the best therapists. When asking this, you should not be looking for a specific answer. You will want to know that it is an accredited school and not an online coaching certificate.

● What is their specialty? Be wary of people who specialize in everything. One can’t be all things to all people.

● Have they worked with clients with your issues? On the phone, share a little about your presenting issue and see how the therapist responds.

● What is their training? If they say they are trained, find out if it was something like a one-day seminar in EMDR or a three-hour online course in psychoanalysis. If they call themself an expert in a modality after such short training, you may want to move on to someone with a little more experience.

● Are they licensed? Do your research to find out if they are licensed or not, as some don’t have a license but still practice. Once you are sure that they have a license, review the state licensing boards to see any infractions against the license.

● Are they now, or have they ever been, in therapy? It’s helpful to work with someone who understands what it’s like to be on both sides of the relationship (Cleantis, 2011).

Once all of the initial questions are answered satisfactorily, take some time and think about how you feel. Since therapy is about opening up to another person and trusting them, pay close attention to how you feel when talking to them. You want to feel heard, not judged, and comfortable (Stanborough, 2020). If you get any bad vibes for any reason, continue calling other people until you find your match. If you are not comfortable with your therapist, it is unlikely you will make progress and get the help you truly need.

Key signs a therapist is not suitable for you — if they judge you, do not listen to you, or act like you’re wasting their time (Stanborough, 2020). Once you choose your therapist, there is no harm in requesting a new one, so pay close attention to how you feel during the initial visits as well. However, if you find the experience of therapy painful, but it has nothing to do with your therapist, keep at it — this could be a sign that you are making progress. If you’re not used to opening, it will take some getting used to (Wright, 2021).

With these tips, you will find a therapist with confidence and ease. Good luck!

Abuse Refuge Org’s mission is to build a worldwide community focused on breaking the cycle of abuse through education and support.

We are working toward being able to offer Norm Therapy, an alternative method for achieving more clarity and truth behind your suffering, that will further prepare you for more formalized therapy approaches like those discussed above. Learn more at GoARO.org, and please consider donating to help support our cause.

Sources

Cleantis, T. “How to find the best therapist for you.” Psychology Today. February 16, 2011. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freudian-sip/201102/how-find-the-best-therapist-you.
Stanborough, R.J. “How to find a therapist that’s right for you: 9 key tips.” Healthline. August 17, 2020. https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-find-a-therapist.
Wright, A. “10 important things to know when considering therapy.” The Mighty. November 12, 2021. https://themighty.com/2017/07/10-important-things-to-know-when-considering-therapy/